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Video transcript: McBride on SXE

Now there is nothing wrong with being focused; In fact that is a great reason to keep a lucid life. But when that one something takes over, then you are no longer deciding what is right for you.

Addiction takes away your ability to choose. Unquestioned habits, impaired judgment, foggy or warped perception, all take away your awareness and your ability to conciously steer your life, your ability to be engaged in what is truly happening around you.

I don't want to disconnect from life.

I dont' t want to side step the world or clean it in my own mind. I want to be a part of it; I want to remember it. I want to see it, hear it, feel it, lick it, fuck it, eat it, get it under my finger nails; all of it. The good and the bad. I want to taste the salt and vinegar as well as the marshmallows and the KoolAid. It's all part of this experience.

I want to confront life. Sure it hurts, but I'll take my punches honest and square and see 'em coming.

When I wear an X on my hand or my triple X necklace, I don't do it to brag or to boast. I do it to fly the flag, to find others with the same feelings I have, to start a conversation with someone who doesn't. I do it to offer a precedent to the people who haven't figured it out yet. Yes, it is possible to do all this shit and more and remember it in the morning. I am proof.

But a symbol is not what it is a symbol of. It's not the name or the mantra or the icons; it's the idealogy and the belief. And keeping those simple tenants gives the belief a solid form. I don't preach it. I don't have to force it on others. Hell I don't even have to leave the room when things go the other way. I simply don't smoke the cigarette. I pass the joint without hitting it. I have soda in my cup instead of beer. I don't need to prove anything to anyone. This is a commitment I made to myself.

Commiting, too, seems contrary to the idea of choice, but again I am choosing to commit to the lucid life. And there is a strength in commitment.

The idea of a commitment, whether it's getting married or joining the Fruit of the Month club, is that you have that thing that you can build off of and rely on. A block for a foundation. If I stay sharp and uninfluenced then in my life I will always have one thing: myself.

Don't drink. Don't Smoke, Don't do drugs. The big 3 rules. But it's not about the alcohol or the nicotine or the chemicals or the sex or the obsession, it's about what they take away. They take away my ability to choose, be aware and stay solid. Being SXE is about exercising those things in myself to protect them.

I am not doing this to be a kinder person or make the world a better place. I do it for myself.

-McBride, 2009

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